How Dick Dies
EXT. IN THE SKY OVER A BIG CITY NIGHT 1
We are riding in a helicopter over a large decaying city at
night.
The helicopter is the two seater clear plastic bubble type.
The scene resembles the vast burned out areas of the South
Bronx.
A full moon on the horizon ahead of us makes the panorama stand
out in silhouette.
We hear the SOUND of the HELICOPTER
We hear ROCK MUSIC coming up under the copter sound.
We fly over fires in several vacant lots.
On the ground police cars and ambulances speed down streets with
lights flashing and sirens blaring.
The fires are surrounded by gangs of homeless people.
A SECRET SERVICE CAPTAIN sits in the passenger seat and speaks
over the radio.
He wears a headset.
We hear a crowd chanting the name "GREEN" over the radio.
The SECRET SERVICE SQUAD LEADER on the ground and the CAPTAIN
listen for a few moments to the crowd.
The SQUAD LEADER switches the radio over to the CAPTAIN.
SQUAD LEADER (ON THE GROUND)
Over.
SECRET SERVICE CAPTAIN
Okay. We're okay in the air. Is
he ready to go? Over.
The CAPTAIN switches the radio over to the SQUAD LEADER on the
ground.
We see the button indicating that on the radio control panel on
the dashboard.
CUT TO:
INT. THE SMALL "GREEN ROOM" OF A LARGE AUDITORIUM NIGHT 2
SECRET SERVICE SQUAD LEADER pushes the button on his radio to
speak.
(CONTINUED)
2.
CONTINUED: 2
The crowd outside can be heard chanting "GREEN" and "WE WANT
GREEN" over and over again.
The SECRET SERVICE SQUAD leader talks into his radio.
SECRET SERVICE SQUAD LEADER
Yeah. Yeah. Almost.
SQUAD LEADER looks at the CAMPAIGN MANAGER and points to his
wrist watch to remind him of the time.
The CAMPAIGN MANAGER shows two fingers.
CAMPAIGN MANAGER
Two minutes.
SQUAD LEADER talks into his microphone.
SQUAD LEADER
Two minutes. Okay. Okay.
SIX SECRET SERVICE AGENTS gather around a very handsome and a
WELL-DRESSED COUPLE.
They watch the people in the crowd as well as the windows and
doors.
The handsome well-dressed man is SENATOR GREEN, a presidential
candidate and the woman at his side is VICTORIA his beautiful
young wife.
He has just met with the ARCHBISHOP who stands nearby.
The camera looks around and sees that the crowd also contains:
a NANNY and GREEN'S TWO CHILDREN, a boy, TOM age 4 and a girl
CINDY age 7, GREEN'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER, his CHIEF OF STAFF, his
PRESS SECRETARY, a HAIR STYLIST and about TWENTY CAMPAIGN STAFF
MEMBERS all of whom are attractive young men and women in nice
clothes and wearing assorted green colored "GREEN" campaign
buttons, hats, sashes and jackets.
The AGENTS all wear the same suit with dark glasses and
earphones in their left ears.
We hear unintelligible words coming through the earphones.
We see the AGENTS as they mill around looking over the crowd.
The PRESS SECRETARY talks to GREEN while GREEN'S HAIR STYLIST
works on his hair.
PRESS SECRETARY
Let's take the pictures and go.
(CONTINUED)
3.
CONTINUED: (2) 2
Another STYLIST works on the woman's hair and gives her
instructions to move her head various ways.
VICKI'S STYLIST
Look up. Look down. Good, Vicki,
good. Hold it. Look right.
That's good. That's perfect.
You're beautiful. You're it.
She holds a mirror up to VICKI'S face and she smiles at herself.
VICKI'S STYLIST
See.
VICKI
Yeah. Okay.
Newspaper and magazine PHOTOGRAPHERS come in and set up to take
pictures of the couple with the ARCHBISHOP.
PRESS SECRETARY
The kids! Get the kids.
The PHOTOGRAPHERS wait while GREEN'S two children, TOM and CINDY
are brought in to be part of the pictures.
SEN. GREEN
Come on everybody. We can do it,
can't we.
The children are pushed into their places.
Let's give them some big smiles
now.
VICKI
Shut up.
The PHOTOGRAPHERS begin taking pictures
GREEN turns to his PRESS SECRETARY
GREEN
Do I say anything?
PRESS SECRETARY
No. Don't stop. Don't wave.
Don't shake any hands.
The SQUAD LEADER is counting the number of SECRET SERVICE AGENTS
in his squad.
SQUAD LEADER (MOUTHING THE WORDS)
"..four, five."
(CONTINUED)
4.
CONTINUED: (3) 2
After counting he speaks into his radio.
SQUAD LEADER
I count five. Five. No, I'm
sure.
He begins counting again.
The AGENTS keep moving and the SQUAD LEADER isn't sure who he's
counted and who he hasn't counted.
The SQUAD LEADER is becoming confused and disoriented by the
excited, bustling crowd.
He shouts at an AGENT whose back is turned.
SQUAD LEADER
Smitty! Smitty!
The AGENT doesn't turn around.
The CAMPAIGN MANAGER rushes up the the SQUAD LEADER and shouts
loudly.
CAMPAIGN MANANGER
Come on. We're ready, let's go!
Let's go!
SQUAD LEADER
Uhh...
CAMPAIGN MANAGER
I said, "Let's go!"
The SQUAD LEADER hesitates for a moment as he looks at the angry
face of the shrill, bloated CAMPAIGN MANAGER
SQUAD LEADER
Okay.
SEN. GREEN and his entourage prepare to walk out.
C.U. of DICK, who is one of the SECRET SERVICE AGENTS.
DICK takes a business card from his vest pocket and holds it
between his fingers.
SQUAD LEADER
Are we ready? Okay, let's go.
Here we go.
The SECRET SERVICE AGENTS push open the huge doors.
(CONTINUED)
5.
CONTINUED: (4) 2
They all walk out toward a set of steps and the motorcade.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE STEPS OF THE CHURCH DAY 3
When GREEN'S entourage emerges it is surrounded by a crowd of
PHOTOGRAPHERS, JOURNALISTS and SUPPORTERS.
The SECRET SERVICE AGENTS escort him through the crowd toward
his waitng limousine.
CU of DICK who is moving in behind GREEN.
CU of the business card in DICK'S hand as he raises it.
The card bears the name "DICK" in boldface type.
DICK drops the card in the side pocket of GREEN'S suit coat.
CU of DICK'S hand as he draws a pistol from his shoulder holster
We see GREEN from the front as DICK shoots him in the back.
The shot blows through GREEN'S chest.
He has been shot through the heart and blood gushes from his
wound.
DICK runs back into the building and disappears.
MRS. GREEN screams and throws herself on GREEN'S bleeding body.
She begins crying and screaming wildly.
VICKI
He's been shot. He's been shot.
The SECRET SERVICE AGENTS start shouting and talking on their
radios.
SQUAD LEADER
Shit...
The SECOND IN COMMAND takes charge of the situation.
SECOND IN COMMAND
He's been hit. He's been hit.
Get us out of here. Go. Go.
Let's go.
The AGENTS shoot into into the air and into the CROWD.
(CONTINUED)
6.
CONTINUED: 3
The AGENTS fight to get to the car with SEN. GREEN and VICKI.
The CROWD is trying to get to the killer but now one knows which
AGENT it was.
Some of the AGENTS are attacked by the CROWD.
The remaining AGENTS drag the hysterical VICKI and the blood
drenched body of SEN. GREEN to the waiting limousine.
GREEN'S body is thrown onto the back seat of the limo.
VICKI climbs in on top of it.
The motorcade pulls away with sirens blaring and lights
flashing.
CUT TO:
INT. A CONFESSIONAL IN THE CATHEDRAL MOMENTS LATER 4
DICK changes clothes in the confessional.
He smiles and removes his secret service suit and dark glasses.
We see that he is a handsome man in his late twenties.
He puts on the black robe of a priest.
DICK leaves the confessional and walks out.
CUT TO:
INT. A CROWDED SMOKY BAR WITH A TELEVISION PLAYING NIGHT 5
On the TV at either end of the bar the patrons watch film
footage of the assassination including slow motion replays
A John Madden type football color commentater uses hand drawn
computer graphics to diagram the hit.
The heads of the victim, and the assassin are circled and the
path of the bullet is drawn with a bold arrow.
COMMENTATOR
Here comes, Green, and there's
Dick moving in right behind him.
There goes the card into Green's
pocket. And, POW! Green takes it
in the back. Wowee! He never saw
it coming.
(CONTINUED)
7.
CONTINUED: 5
When the moment of impact is replayed several times the viewers
in the bar react like football fans watching a bone crushing
tackle.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 6
ALAN'S large bare office on the corner of an old brick factory
building.
Large windows are covered with blinds.
The office contains a lounge chair near the window and an
ashtray on a stand in the middle of the room.
The office has a small terrarium containing a three lizards,
each only four of five inches long, two females and one male.
The lizards eat flies that land on a melting chocolate bar.
There are no other pieces of furniture of decoration,
ALAN has no books or papers.
ALAN is a handsome older man in expensive casual clothing.
He wears an earphone in one ear and a small microphone attached
to a baseball cap.
When he wants to call a telephone number he punches it in on a
remote control that he keeps in his trouser pocket.
He strolls around looking over several computer and video
screens arranged on the wall.
DICK examines photographs of intended victims in two manila
folders.
The photos are of well known celebrities.
An insulated metal briefcase containing three clear plastic bags
of bright red blood sits open on a small table.
DICK is lying on a cot and receiving a pint of blood through an
IV in his arm.
DICK is attended by an attractive WOMAN IN A WHITE UNIFORM.
She removes the IV, gives DICK a clean bandage to put over the
hole in his arm.
DICK sits up.
(CONTINUED)
8.
CONTINUED: 6
When DICK is comfortable the WOMAN puts the empty bag and IV
away.
DICK smiles and looks invigorated by the fresh, clean blood.
He springs to his feet and walks around for a moment.
DICK examines the blood in the bags and smiles.
DICK
Very nice.
ALAN plays with a small lizard on his finger.
ALAN
Good. Now get the other one.
DICK exits.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE NIGHT 7
DICK'S apartment in an abandoned building somewhere like the
South Bronx.
The floor is covered with piles of dirty laundry, broken
television sets, ammunition, guns and various parts of guns.
The only furniture is an old beat up sofa and a few boxes.
The bed is a mattress on the floor.
From the window you see miles and miles of burned out buildings.
Several newspapers bearing the headlines: "BLOWN AWAY" and
"DICK DID IT" are spread out on a table.
Some of the articles about the killing have been clipped out for
DICK'S scrapbook which lies open on the table.
Other clippings show early pictures of DICK and various other
crime stories.
Several Wanted Posters of DICK hang on the walls.
The walls also contain bullet holes and have obviously been
burned at one time.
DICK has just finished his shower and stands in front of the
mirror shaving.
He looks at himself and smiles.
(CONTINUED)
9.
CONTINUED: 7
DICK
I feel like I'm going to fall in
love today. I wonder who it will
be.
CUT TO:
INT. CELLAR BAR NIGHT 8
A crowded cellar bar. Loud music.
The bar has a bomb shelter decor and is full of people wearing a
variety of weapons and types of armor.
TV: The War Channel: War news footage plays constantly.
DICK makes his way through the crowd.
He steps up to DAPHNE, a beautiful woman standing at the bar.
DAPHNE wears chains and wild make-up.
They shout at each other.
DAPHNE
What are you looking for?
DICK
That special girl. Is that you?
DAPHNE
It might be. Are you clean?
DICK
Take a look.
DICK rolls up his sleeve.
He shows her the tatoos on his arm.
The tatoos are combinations of letters and numbers that mean
that the bearer is infected with certain viruses.
DICK has four tatoos: PV-2, LDM, HN-3, and O-9
We see through DAPHNE'S eyes as she examines his arm.
DAPHNE
That's what I have.
DICK
Let's see.
(CONTINUED)
10.
CONTINUED: 8
DAPHNE shows him her tatoos.
He look at the marks on her shoulder.
When he's checked her he smiles and takes her arm.
DICK
Okay. Let's go.
They exit.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE MORNING 9
There is a knock at the door.
DICK picks up his gun and opens the door to reveal BENNY who is
delivering ammunition.
BENNY is about nineteen and is dressed in a leather jacket and
blue jeans.
DICK
Nine millimeter. Twenty boxes.
BENNY puts twenty boxes of ammunition on DICK'S table.
BENNY
I saw you on TV.
BENNY notices DAPHNE sitting in bed smoking a cigarette.
DICK
Yeah.
BENNY
Will you stay here?
DICK
Who wants to know?
BENNY
Nobody. Just asking. That's all.
BENNY picks up an automatic pistol and hands it to DICK.
Take a look at this.
DICK looks them over but isn't very impressed.
DICK
I don't need one.
(CONTINUED)
11.
CONTINUED: 9
BENNY
But this is very, very sweet.
Take it. It's my favorite weapon.
DICK examines the gun.
We should shoot sometime.
DICK
Sure.
CUT TO:
EXT. RIVER BRIDGE NIGHT 10
It is the night of the full moon on a long bridge.
A FAT MAN looks out over the river from the railing in the
middle of the bridge.
From the rear we see DICK, dressed in a big overcoat and hat.
He is walking toward the FAT MAN
He walks up to the FAT MAN
Stops directly behind him and chokes him with a thin cord.
He puts his business card in the FAT MAN'S coat pocket.
He pushes the fat body off the bridge and into the river.
CUT TO:
INT. A GREASY SPOON DINER MORNING 11
DICK is eating a turkey sandwich.
He watches a morning news show like "Good Morning America" on a
TV at his table.
A perky, Debra Norville type, hostess reads the news
HOSTESS (O.S.)
Good morning, everyone, it looks
like Dick's done it again.
DICK mutes the TV sound and smiles to himself.
The TV shows a picture of the fat corpse with DICK'S card on it.
18
(CONTINUED)
12.
CONTINUED: 11
DICK
That's right, Dick does it again.
CUT TO:
INT PISTOL RANGE DAY 12
We see the blazing barrels of many hand guns in a long row.
DICK and BENNY who are shooting pistols in a large, crowded,
urban pistol range.
They wear ear coverings and shoot rapidly.
We see them from the front.
They seem to be shooting at us.
From the rear we see targets of men being shot full of holes.
Rays of light shine through the targets
The targets are reeled back to the shooters and examined by DICK
and BENNY.
DICK
You're pretty good.
BENNY
Thanks.
CUT TO:
EXT. A CITY APARTMENT BUILDING ROOFTOP NIGHT 13
It is a cold and windy night.
DICK and BENNY perch on the rooftop.
A bazoooka rests between them.
O.S.the sound of an approaching MOTORCADE.
DICK
In a past life I was a fisherman.
With BENNY'S help DICK raises the bazooka and takes aim.
BENNY
What did you like most about it?
(CONTINUED)
13.
CONTINUED: 13
DICK
The fish. Being with the fish.
And catching them. Outwitting
them.
DICK shoots.
DICK and BENNY watch and smile broadly while listening to the
sound of EXPLOSIONS and SIRENS from the wreckage O.S.
CUT TO:
EXT. A CAR ON A BUSY URBAN STREET NIGHT 14
BENNY drives DICK'S car down busy streets.
DICK holds a machine gun.
The sidewalks are filled with sleazy looking PEOPLE.
DICK
Sure, I've worked with spies.
BENNY
The Toad?
DICK
Yes. And the Spider and the
Snail.
BENNY
The Snail! What was he like?
DICK
Charming, decent, candid within
limits.
DICK shoots some of the PEOPLE on the street with his machine
gun.
Go.
BENNY hits the gas and they speed away.
CUT TO:
EXT. A BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY CLUB GOLF COURSE MORNING 15
DICK looks at a picture while ALAN putts.
(CONTINUED)
14.
CONTINUED: 15
ALAN
This one is more delicate. Don't
kill him yet.
DICK
I could murder his wife.
ALAN considers that suggestion with a smile.
ALAN
No.
DICK
Why don't I kill some of his pets?
ALAN
Yes, try that.
CUT TO:
EXT. A LAVISH ESTATE NIGHT 16
DICK breaks into a heavily guarded kennel.
DICK walks along the row of barking animals cages and shoots
them with a machine gun.
CUT TO:
INT. RESTUARANT MIDDAY 17
DICK and ALAN at a fancy restaurant.
They are served desserts.
DICK
I made sausage out of his dogs.
ALAN
Good.
DICK
Now?
ALAN
Wait.
CUT TO:
15.
INT. SUPERMARKET DAY 18
DICK is pushing a shopping cart through a supermarket.
He pushes up behind a beautiful woman in jogging sweats named
MYRNA.
DICK
So, what are you looking for in a
man?
MYRNA
I don't want him to waste my time.
DICK reveals his tatoos.
She shows him hers.
They smile at each other.
MYRNA
Okay. Let's go.
They exit.
CUT TO:
INT. STEAM BATH DAY 19
DICK and ALAN walk out of the steam.
DICK
What next?
ALAN
Surprise me.
DICK
Alright.
CUT TO:
INT. A PLEASANT DAY CARE CENTER DAY 20
The young FEMALE ATTENDANT is busy with a gang of crying
toddlers.
CU of DICK who is disguised as a young pregnant mother.
The middle aged FEMALE MANAGER of the center is showing DICK
around.
(CONTINUED)
16.
CONTINUED: 20
MANAGER
If you'll just excuse me for a
moment.
DICK
Not at all.
She leaves DICK alone with a group of CHILDREN.
He watches a particular small CHILD about two years old.
DICK walks over and unobtrusively picks up the CHILD.
DICK
And, how are you today, big fella.
No one notices as DICK carries the CHILD out.
CUT TO:
INT. THE HOME OF THE KIDNAPPED CHILD'S FAMILY EVENING 21
The PARENTS are very distressed and surrounded by police.
A DELIVERY BOY brings a gift wrapped box.
The FATHER opens it and finds the child's shoes and DICK'S
business card.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 22
ALAN reads a newspaper bearing the headline, "BABY SHOES."
DICK enters.
He sees what ALAN'S reading.
DICK
Do I go too far?
ALAN
Sometimes it's good to go too far.
You don't want people to know how
far you'll go.
DICK
It keeps them on their toes.
(CONTINUED)
17.
CONTINUED: 22
ALAN
Exactly.
CUT TO:
INT. ART GALLERY NIGHT 23
The gallery is filled with the opening night CROWD.
They people are dressed garishly.
The art is colorful and exotic.
People drink wine and chat.
Gas begins seeping in and the PATRONS begin to fall down dead.
A few screams as people try to get out and discover that the
doors have been locked.
In a few seconds everyone is dead.
DICK and BENNY enter in big white protective suits and examine
the bodies.
BENNY records the dead in a log book.
DICK picks up a delicate sculpture and smashes it to the floor.
He speaks to BENNY over the radio built into their helmets.
DICK
Every time I get close to a work
of art I want to break it. I
don't know why. I like art, by
and large. I used to break things
a lot when I was a kid. I don't
know. I guess it's just kind of
satisfying. You know what I mean?
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S NEW PLACE NIGHT 24
DICK has moved to a newer more attractive apartment.
He has better furniture and clothing but the place is still a
mess.
DICK is cleaning a gun and watching cartoons on TV.
BENNY goes through the refrigerator.
(CONTINUED)
18.
CONTINUED: 24
DICK
Don't you have a father?
BENNY
I did. He was murdered. I don't
know why.
BENNY gets a carton of ice cream and a spoon.
DICK
That's interesting.
BENNY comes into the den and joins DICK as he eats the ice
cream.
BENNY
Yes, it is. I'd like to know who
killed him.
DICK
Do you have any clues?
BENNY
A few.
DICK
Was your father an important man?
BENNY
He worked for the government.
That's all I know.
DICK
When did he get it?
BENNY
Five years ago.
DICK
Everyone was getting killed in
those days.
BENNY
You're right about that.
DICK
There was even an attempt on my
life. Several, in fact.
BENNY
You must have been very clever.
DICK
And very lucky.
(CONTINUED)
19.
CONTINUED: (2) 24
BENNY
I was on a farm.
DICK
Really?
BENNY
I hated it.
DICK
But you weren't murdered.
BENNY
No, I wasn't.
DICK
Do you have a girl? That's you're
problem. Let's go get some girls.
CUT TO:
INT. A FANCIER NIGHTCLUB NIGHT 25
This club has a jungle decor with stuffed snakes and animals
everywehere.
DICK is putting his hands on a woman, TINA.
He looks for marks on her shoulders and arms.
BENNY stands nearby and watches.
LOUDSPEAKER VOICE
Extreme radiation levels can be
expected for the rest of the
evening. Citizens are advised to
stay indoors.
DICK
Have you received the latest
vaccinations?
TINA
Yes, I... I think so.
DICK takes her away.
BENNY sits at the bar and talks to ANDREA who doesn't listen to
him.
(CONTINUED)
20.
CONTINUED: 25
BENNY
I'm a killer. I work with Dick.
CUT TO:
INT. THE SAME CLUB A LITTLE WHILE LATER 26
DICK comes back to the bar.
TINA comes in a moment later and reaches for him.
He throws her some money.
DICK
Look, honey, just take your going
away present and leave me alone.
BENNY is being hassled by some PUNKS with knives.
DICK comes between BENNY and the PUNKS.
Get away from him.
DICK draws his gun and blows them away.
Other patrons watch for a moment and then turn back to whatever
they were doing.
DICK turns to the bar and takes a sip from his drink.
DICK
Let's get something for you.
DICK takes BENNY over to an attractive woman named DEIDRE and
sends him away with her.
Take her. Go.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN EMPTY CITY STREET DAWN 27
A garbage truck goes by.
When the truck passes it reveals DICK and BENNY sitting at the
curb drunk.
DICK takes a drink from a flask.
BENNY throws up.
(CONTINUED)
21.
CONTINUED: 27
DICK
Political figures start at a
hundred thousand. Military
officers are eighty. Enlisted men
forty. Police officers thirty-
five. Civil servants thirty.
Managers and shop stewards twenty.
Workers twelve to fifteen. And
women are always fifteen percent
off. I also give group rates and
discounts to regular customers.
BENNY
Will you assassinate a clergyman?
DICK
I'll assassinate a clergyman for
nothing. I consider it a public
service. And substance abusers
and sexual deviants.
CUT TO:
INT A CATHOLIC CHURCH DAY 28
A PRIEST stands at the altar with his back to the congregation.
PARISHIONERS come to the altar for communion.
We see DICK standing in the line.
When he turns around to DICK emerges from the line and machine
guns the PRIEST.
DICK flees amid the screaming and panic.
CUT TO:
INT. A NEW NIGHTCLUB NIGHT 29
This club has an underwater decor with fish painted on the walls
and hanging from the ceiling.
DICK appears and wanders through without seeing anyone
interesting.
CUT TO:
EXT. NIGHTCLUB ROOF NIGHT 30
DICK comes up onto the roof.
(CONTINUED)
22.
CONTINUED: 30
He spots LOUISE, a beautiful angelic woman on the other side of
the roof.
Two men are talking to her.
LOUISE
Leave me alone.
One of the men grabs hold of her.
Leave me alone.
She shakes him off.
When he comes at her again she draws a gun and shoots him.
The other guy runs away.
She pushes the dead guy off the roof.
She stands on the ledge looking out over the city.
Her hair blows in the wind and she is beautifully silhouetted by
a light.
DICK
She's the one.
DICK walks up to LOUISE.
Would you like to try me out?
She turns toward him and aims her gun at his balls.
LOUISE
I'd like to think it over.
DICK
Why?
He moves nearer to her.
LOUISE
I don't know you.
DICK
I've been tested.
LOUISE
I'd rather not talk about that.
DICK
Oh.
(CONTINUED)
23.
CONTINUED: (2) 30
LOUISE
You're just going too fast.
She moves away from him.
DICK
I'm sorry.
LOUISE
What do you want?
DICK
I want a woman to love forever.
LOUISE
That sounds nice.
DICK
Could that be you?
LOUISE
It might be.
DICK
Try me out.
LOUISE
Can we talk?
DICK
Alright.
LOUISE
Not now. The curfew. Later.
DICK
When?
LOUISE
I don't know. Later.
DICK gives her his business card.
DICK
Call me.
LOUISE
Later.
LOUISE exits. DICK looks wistfully after her.
CUT TO:
24.
INT. DICK'S PLACE AFTERNOON 31
DICK is at home on the phone to LOUISE.
DICK
Yes... Thank you... Yes... Oh,
no... No... I kill people, but
only professionally... Yes...
Yes... Tuesday? That sounds
good... Yes... So do I. Bye
then... Thank you. You, too.
Bye, bye.
CUT TO:
INT. A SMALL URBAN FLOWER SHOP AFTERNOON 32
LOUISE is working at the counter.
DICK enters and hands her a box of candy.
LOUISE
Are you really, Dick?
DICK
Yes. And it's all true.
He tries to kiss her on the cheek.
Shots are fired at DICK by GUNMEN in the street.
DICK takes cover and shoots back.
Let's get out of here.
DICK and LOUISE flee.
The shop is demolished by gunfire.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN ALLEY BETWEEN BIG BUILDINGS AFTERNOON 33
DICK and LOUISE run through a hail of bullets.
DICK
Sorry. I really wasn't expecting
this.
LOUISE
That's okay.
LOUISE reloads for him.
(CONTINUED)
25.
CONTINUED: 33
Do you know who they are?
DICK
Just some people I work with.
LOUISE shoots one of the attackers with her own gun.
Not bad.
They shoot at the attackers together.
DICK and LOUISE laugh with delight.
DICK takes her by the hand and they run off down the alley.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BEACH EVENING 34
DICK and LOUISE take a moonlit stroll on the beach.
DICK looks at her gun.
DICK
What you have is very nice.
LOUISE
Thanks.
DICK
I like the .38 sometimes. But for
work I prefer nine millimeters.
LOUISE
I've tried different ones. I like
variety.
DICK
So do I.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE NIGHT 35
The apartment is strewn with dirty dishes, left over food and
empty bottles.
DICK and LOUISE lie on the bed watching MTV and finishing their
dessert.
DICK cuddles up to LOUISE and plays with her clothes and hair.
(CONTINUED)
26.
CONTINUED: 35
DICK
...and so I began meeting fancier
and fancier people. It was very
exciting really. I could barely
sleep for being so excited. I
couldn't keep my mind off the
future. People regarded me with
respect, even awe. Some of them
trembled. I could make them
tremble. And I enjoyed that. I
really enjoyed it... Let me see
your tattoos.
He looks at her tatoos and grimaces.
When was the last time you were
tested?
LOUISE
Maybe a couple of weeks ago.
DICK
I guess you're okay.
LOUISE
Yeah, I'm okay.
They make love.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE HALLWAY DAY 36
CU of key entering lock of door.
Door opens to reveal BENNY entering DICK'S apartment.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM DAY 37
BENNY passes the open bedroom door.
He returns to open door, registering LOUISE in bed with a
sleeping DICK.
CUT TO:
27.
INT. KITCHEN DAY 38
Refrigerator. BENNY opens the door.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM DAY 39
DICK wakes at the sound of the fridge opening.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN DAY 40
BENNY is foraging as DICK walks into the room.
BENNY
What does she carry?
DICK
Everything. And she probably has
type seven, too.
BENNY
Type seven!
DICK
It doesn't scare me.
DICK looks at LOUISE asleep in bed and remembers a FORTUNE
TELLER.
CUT TO:
INT. GYPSY SALON DAY 41
DICK'S memory.
He is sitting with a FORTUNE TELLER who is reading his palm.
FORTUNE TELLER
I see that you will be very well
endowed in this life. You will
have many lovers and one great
love, but in the end your heart
will be broken. I see, too, that
you are very ambitious. After a
long struggle you will be
extremely successful, but then you
will make one terrible mistake and
(more)
(CONTINUED)
28.
CONTINUED: 41
FORTUNE TELLER (Cont'd)
everyone will hate you and you
will die a very sad and lonely
man.
CUT TO:
EXT. LOUISE'S GARDEN MORNING 42
DICK and LOUISE planting flowers in her garden.
LOUISE
Put the Azaleas here and the
African Violets here.
DICK
Could we have a few more Azaleas?
LOUISE
Of course.
CUT TO:
INT. A SEEDY OLD BAR NIGHT 43
This is more of a male bar with surly guys hanging around
DICK and BENNY are drinking at the bar.
DICK is talking about LOUISE.
DICK
She makes me feel smart... She
makes me feel like I know
something. She takes me
seriously. You know?
CUT TO:
INT. A NEW NIGHTCLUB NIGHT 44
This club has a blue misty, heavenly decor.
DICK and LOUISE are dancing to a slow song.
They are alone on the dance floor.
Their feet are lost in the white fog.
CUT TO:
29.
EXT. GARDEN DAY 45
DICK and ALAN meet in a garden.
ALAN
I've got something nice for you
today.
ALAN hands DICK a folder.
DICK looks inside it and closes it.
DICK
Great.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE NIGHT 46
BENNY is cleaning parts of weapons which he hands to DICK to
assemble.
DICK'S place has a cleaner, tidier look.
LOUISE'S influence is apparent, candles, flowers etc.
DICK
I'll make serious money on this.
BENNY
How much?
DICK
500K.
BENNY
Nice.
DICK
I'll take it.
BENNY
Dangerous?
DICK
Of course. That's why they want
me.
BENNY
Who is it?
DICK
I can't tell you that, Benny.
(CONTINUED)
30.
CONTINUED: 46
BENNY
Oh, right.
DICK
You'll see it on TV.
BENNY
Great!
CUT TO:
EXT. A DARK ALLEY NIGHT 47
A WELL DRESSED BUSINESSMAN runs by clutching his briefcase.
DICK runs quickly after him without feeling any strain.
CUT TO:
EXT. RIVER DAY 48
The bank of a polluted river.
DICK drags the WELL DRESSED BANKER down to the water.
He drowns the BANKER in a shallow part of the river.
DICK places his card on the body and takes the briefcase.
CUT TO:
EXT. TRAIN STATION DAY 49
Morning rush hour. Crowded platform.
DICK moves through the crowd toward a smartly dressed young
FEMALE EXECUTIVE.
A train approaches the platform.
DICK'S hand can be seen moving to push the EXECUTIVE.
A train is heard approaching.
The EXECUTIVE screams and falls onto the tracks.
A train rushes past.
Bystanders scream.
CUT TO:
31.
INT. ELEVATOR BANK DAY 50
A big, modern office building.
A CROWD of people fill a large elevator.
CUT TO:
INT. INSIDE THE ELEVATOR AS IT RISES. 52 51
CU of fingers pressing elevator buttons.
At different floors people get out.
Finally DICK is left alone in the elevator with a STOCKBROKER in
a suit and carrying a cane.
DICK lowers his newspaper and draws a knife.
The BROKER looks at it and is terrified.
CUT TO:
INT. THE ELEVATOR A FEW MOMENTS LATER 52
DICK stands over the body and wipes the blood from his hands.
DICK
Day after day, the endless
drudgery of murder.
DICK escapes through a door in the roof of the elevator.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE BUILDING DAY 53
The elevator containing the victim from the previous scene stops
at the next floor.
A CROWD enters and surrounds the dead BROKER.
The doors close.
PERSON #1
It looks like Dick got him.
The WOMEN and CHILDREN look at the body with amusement.
ANOTHER BROKER opens his newspaper to avoid viewing the corpse.
FADE TO:
32.
EXT. A DESERTED YMCA SWIMMMING POOL NIGHT 54
We see the moonlight reflected off the shimmering pool.
LOUISE leads DICK through a window into the pool.
They both carry lanterns.
LOUISE
Duck down low. Watch out for that
nail.
LOUISE tests the temperature of the water and begins taking off
her clothes.
DICK also begins taking off his clothes.
LOUISE
I've loved this place ever since I
was twelve years old.
DICK
I came for the first time when I
was just nine. My trainer brought
me.
DICK and LOUISE swim.
LOUISE
I came with my sister. Maryanne.
She's two years older than I am.
DICK
How many brothers and sisters do
you have?
LOUISE
I only know for certain about
Maryanne. She thinks she
remembers a brother but I can't
remember anyone else.
They frolic a bit in the water.
They embrace and make love.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN OVERGROWN CITY PARK NIGHT 55
DICK and LOUISE walking carefully through the brush.
A huge spider falls onto DICK'S shoulder.
(CONTINUED)
33.
CONTINUED: 55
LOUISE
Wait. Be still.
LOUISE lets the spider crawl onto her hand and sets it on a
branch.
DICK draws his gun and takes aim at it.
He turns to LOUISE, smiles and puts his gun away.
The spider runs away.
CUT TO:
INT. A RESTAURANT NIGHT 56
A fancy restaurant lit by candles.
Soft violin music can be heard.
DICK and LOUISE are nicely dressed and having dessert.
DICK
I've got something nice for you.
LOUISE
I'm sure.
DICK gives her a huge diamond engagement ring.
Yeah. That's very nice.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S APARTMENT DAY 57
LOUISE moves in.
DICK and BENNY carry in her stuff.
Her boxes are piled everywhere.
She has some odd things like stuffed birds and other knick
knacks.
LOUISE
Just put it down there for the
moment. We'll sort it out later.
Next load.
DICK
You've got a lot of stuff.
(CONTINUED)
34.
CONTINUED: 57
LOUISE
It adds up, you know. Over the
years.
CUT TO:
EXT. A NIGHTCLUB ENTRANCE NIGHT 58
The door to a club like The Tunnel in NYC.
GROUPIES and PHOTOGRAPHERS surround the entrance waiting for
celebrities to come out.
Big, brawny DOORMEN hold them back.
DICK, BENNY and LOUISE emerge from the nightclub and are
surrounded by the papparazzi.
PAPARAZZI #1
Look everybody, here comes, Dick!
PAPARAZZI #2
What's up, Dick?
PAPARAZZI #3
Who's next, Dick?
PAPARAZZI #1
Just pictures, Dick?
PAPARAZZI #2
Who's the girl, Dick?
PAPARAZZI #1
Smile, Dick, smile.
DICK
Get out of my face.
DICK takes the camera away from PAPARAZZI #1 and attacks him.
LOUISE
No, Dick, no.
LOUISE holds him back and they exit.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEWSSTAND MORNING 59
DICK appears on the covers of various magazines.
(CONTINUED)
35.
CONTINUED: 59
We see the magazines at the stand as PEOPLE eagerly buy them.
CRIME "Dick Exposed" "At Home with Dick"
VIOLENCE "Dick Bares all" "Are You a Dick? Take the Dick Test"
BRUTALITY "Dick's Torture Tips" "Dick: My first Crime"
ASSASSIN'S QUARTERLY "Dick's Measurements" "Dick's Diary"
MURDER & MAYHEM "Dick: My favorite Murders"
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE EVENING 60
The apartment has been remodeled
DICK and LOUISE open a bottle of champagne and watch TV.
A commercial for DICK'S perfume comes on.
CUT TO:
INT. NIGHT TV SCREEN 61
O.S. a bottle of "Homicide" perfume with the label "Homicide:
by Dick"
In the ad DICK splashes on the perfume and draws a gun.
LOUISE comes into the picture and puts her arms around DICK.
A sexy female voice speaks the voice over
VOICE OVER
Homicide by Dick: when you want to
get away with murder.
CUT TO:
INT DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE DAY 62
LOUISE being interviewed on a couch.
A TV CREW is set up around her.
Sally Jesse Raphael type female INTERVIEWER asks LOUISE
questions.
DICK watches from the kitchen.
(CONTINUED)
36.
CONTINUED: 62
Camera crew activity as they set-up.
INTERVIEWER
What makes Dick special for you?
Mic boom dips into frame.
LOUISE
I like Dick because he has a nice
car and he's fun to be with and I
know you're going to ask me this
so I'll just go ahead and tell
you, the answer is yes. Yes, it
is
CUT TO:
INT. FASHION SHOW NIGHT 63
A well attended fashion show with many photographers and fashion
scene types.
DICK'S fashion line is modeled on a long runway by LOUISE and
two sexy MALE MODELS.
DICK watches from the wings.
M.C.
Here are Louise, Derek and Roger
modeling Dick's latest daytime
camouflage wear. Camouflage comes
in gray, tan and green for any
terrain; urban, desert or jungle.
The MODELS parade down the runway in camouflage coveralls and
sexy weapons to loud cheering and applause.
For nighttime activity our models
reveal Dick's latest evening wear.
The MODELS remove their coveralls to reveal black night
clothing. Applause.
Notice the matching ammo belts,
bandeliers and brass nuckles.
The accessories are modelled.
And, finally, for those days when
you need to go underwater: Dick's
swimwear.
The MODELS undress again to reveal combat swimwear.
(CONTINUED)
37.
CONTINUED: 63
There is loud cheering and applause.
DICK steps out and acknowledges the applause.
CUT TO:
INT. TV TALK SHOW NIGHT 64
The show returns from commercial and there is a burst of
applause.
There is a fancy set with big swivel chairs and a wild studio
audience.
The HOST is wildily dressed and behaves like Arsenio Hall or
Howard Stern.
HOST
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a
man who needs no introduction, the
one and only, Dick
The CROWD applauds and cheers.
DICK acknowledges the crowd and waves to them.
DICK
Thank you, thank you.
DICK takes a bow and sits down.
HOST
You're the best, the biggest,
what's it like?
DICK
You know, to be perfectly honest,
I don't like being famous.
Laughter.
I don't like people recognizing me
and I don't like them knowing so
much about me.
Laughter.
Why can't you people just leave me
alone?
Laughter and Applause.
Please.
(CONTINUED)
38.
CONTINUED: 64
Laughter.
No. I only want to do my work.
The CROWD and HOST laugh and applaud loudly.
HOST
Well, thank you, Dick. How
interesting.
DICK smiles boyishly.
Applause and whistles.
CUT TO:
INT. BENNY'S PLACE NIGHT 65
BENNY is alone in his room.
BENNY lives in one humble room with a TV and only a chair and a
mattress.
He is mixing a bowl of tuna fish salad.
We hear the TV.
BENNY turns to it attentively
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
You can learn to be a professional
assassin at home in your spare
time! Call 1-800-BE-A-DICK right
now for Dick's collection of tapes
and videos. In just a few weeks
you could be earning thousands of
dollars in this rapidly expanding
field.
BENNY sits down to watch.
CUT TO:
INT NIGHT TV SCREEN 66
The commercial for DICK'S tapes and videos show BENNY giving an
endorsement.
BENNY(ON TV)
I was once a weak and timid young
man. Now, thanks to Dick, I'm a
first rate killer.
(CONTINUED)
39.
CONTINUED: 66
Show the phone number 1-800-BE-A-DICK and the faces of several
major credit cards.
DICK(ON TV)
I'm willing to help you, but I'm
not afraid to hurt you.
VOICEOVER
Call now. Our operators are
standing by. All major credit
cards accepted.
CUT TO:
EXT. UNDERNEATH A SUBWAY TRACK NIGHT 67
We are underneath an elevated subway track.
A train goes by overhead.
DICK and BENNY prepare to hang an ARMY GENERAL.
BENNY tests the rope and draws open the noose.
The GENERAL stands on a chair with his hands tied behind him and
a gag in his mouth.
BENNY puts the noose around the GENERAL'S neck.
BENNY
Why are we hanging him?
DICK
It makes a better picture.
DICK pulls the chair away.
The GENERAL chokes and swings.
Let's get something to eat.
They exit.
CUT TO:
EXT. MAGAZINE STAND DAY 68
A stack of the new issue of GORE magazine is delivered to the
stand with the cover story:
(CONTINUED)
40.
CONTINUED: 68
"DICK'S LATEST!"
Show the hanged GENERAL on the cover.
Copies of GORE start to sell quickly.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 69
DICK and ALAN stand near ALAN'S desk.
ALAN sits down and offers DICK a cigar.
DICK refuses it but ALAN takes one and lights up.
One of ALAN'S young MALE ASSISTANTS puts together the files for
DICK'S next assignment.
An attractive young FEMALE ASSISTANT packs a briefcase with
money.
ALAN hands DICK a briefcase containing money DICK hefts it and
makes it look light.
DICK
I think I deserve more.
ALAN
Things are going your way, but
don't lose your perspective.
DICK
I haven't.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S AND LOUISE'S PLACE NIGHT 70
DICK shows LOUISE his many trophies for marksmanship, javelin
throwing, running and other pursuits.
LOUISE half listens while she reads a magazine.
(CONTINUED)
41.
CONTINUED: 70
DICK
I spent my youth collecting
prizes. I was the best at many
things. The best shot, the
strongest forearm, the fastest,
the best memory, the best
calculator, the best at saying
"Hello" and "Goodbye." I've always
thought that salutations were very
important. As are farewells. The
salutation allows you to take
control of the exchange and the
farewell allows you to take
control of its memory. But back
to winning prizes and being the
best. I don't like to play, I
just like to win.
LOUISE
That's good, dear. Just keep it
up.
CUT TO:
INT. A BIG UNDERGROUND GARAGE DAY 71
ALAN is about to get into his limo.
DICK shouts at him as the garage attendant holds open the door.
DICK
I would like to see a little
appreciation for what I do. Is
that too much?
ALAN
No. Not at all. I've got to go.
I'll be at the penthouse.
ALAN gets in and the attendant closes the door.
DICK
I'll call you.
ALAN'S automatic window comes down.
ALAN
No, I'll call you.
ALAN'S head disappears for a moment and then comes back to the
window as an afterthought.
You're doing a fine job.
(CONTINUED)
42.
CONTINUED: 71
DICK
Thank you.
ALAN
Bye, then.
ALAN'S window begins going back up.
DICK
Be well.
ALAN'S darkly shaded window closes completely.
The limo pulls away.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S AND LOUISE'S PLACE DAY 72
DICK is cleaning and examining several guns which are spread
across the bed.
LOUISE enters.
LOUISE
Dick, darling, do we have to have
all these guns around all the
time?
DICK
Do we have to have all these guns
around? What do you think I do
for a living?
CUT TO:
INT. A CROWDED FIGHTER'S GYM DAY 73
DICK and BENNY in workout attire
DICK wears a whistle and carries a stop watch.
DICK puts BENNY through his paces on a running, weight lifting
and punching regimen.
DICK works BENNY to a state of near exhaustion.
DICK
Be diligent,
DICK picks up and goads on an exhausted BENNY to continue.
(CONTINUED)
43.
CONTINUED: 73
each day brings you closer to
success.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. THE BASEMENT FIGHT TRAINING GYM A FEW DAYS LATER 74
The crowded basement floor is covered with mats and several
boxing rings.
The fighting mats of the gym are filled with people fighting in
various styles from boxing to judo.
Others fight with various kinds of swords, knives and clubs.
DICK and BENNY step out onto the mats dressed for training.
DICK offers BENNY knives and BENNY takes one.
DICK
Be alert,
They fight with the knives.
The sparring goes on for a bit and seems as though it could go
either way.
Suddenly, DICK disarms BENNY, turns him around and holds a knife
to his throat.
each hour offers a new discovery.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. THE STREET OUTSIDE THE GYM A FEW DAYS LATER 75
Pedestrians walk past a big window of the gym in the previous
scene.
BENNY is flung out through the window of the gym.
DICK jumps out onto him and they continue fighting hand to hand.
DICK and BENNY engage in a long elaborate fight sequence.
BENNY gets DICK in a vicious strangle hold.
DICK seems to be choking to death.
BENNY eases up a bit.
(CONTINUED)
44.
CONTINUED: 75
DICK
Be wary,
DICK distracts BENNY with a trick move and turns the tables on
him.
He holds BENNY in a painful position.
each moment is full of surprises.
DICK inflicts pain on BENNY for making the error.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE DAY 76
DICK and LOUISE at home.
DICK cleans weapons.
LOUISE clears a place for herself to sit amongst DICK'S stuff.
LOUISE
I think we need more space, don't
you?
DICK grunts and doesn't answer.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN OUTDOOR SHOOTING RANGE NIGHT 77
A large, popular, outdoor shooting range in a vacant lot between
two abandoned buildings.
There is a party atmosphere.
Chinese lanterns are strung across the lot.
Fireworks are being set off nearby.
DICK and BENNY shoot machine guns at large melons and
mannequins.
DICK
Recreational violence.
BENNY
I'd like to meet the big man.
(CONTINUED)
45.
CONTINUED: 77
DICK
It's not hard to meet him. He's
friendly, but he's cagey. He
won't give anything away. And he
won't give you advice. At least,
not good advice. But he's worth
knowing, if only to know what he
looks like. You can say that you
know him. That counts for
something.
BENNY
What should I say to him?
DICK
Not much. He doesn't want to
know anything about you. Just
don't act stupid. Keep your mouth
shut.
BENNY
Right.
DICK
Don't create any awkward or
unpleasant moments.
BENNY
Right.
DICK
And don't be a pest.
BENNY
Right.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 78
BENNY is standing nervously in front of ALAN'S desk.
ALAN is smoking a cigar and looking skeptically at BENNY.
BENNY is dressed in his smartest combat clothes.
ALAN
Why should anyone hire you to
commit a murder? The people who
pay good money for a murder don't
hire just anyone off the street.
BENNY is speechless.
(CONTINUED)
46.
CONTINUED: 78
ALAN stares at him for long momemt.
ALAN looks out the window.
BENNY begins to exit.
Stay with Dick and call me in
three months.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN URBAN PARK NIGHT 79
A small clearing lit by a lamp.
BENNY chokes a POLICE OFFICER while DICK watches.
BENNY
Don't let me go crazy now.
DICK
Slow down. You're getting too
excited. This is just the first
rush. The next one will be
bigger. Relax.
DICK holds the POLICEMAN while BENNY relaxes.
Breathe slowly and start again.
Go on now. Squeeze. Finish it.
Finish the job. Kill him. Kill
him!
The POLICEMAN breaks loose.
Don't let him up, you idiot. No,
you dickhead, no!
DICK shoots the fleeing POLICEMAN.
BENNY
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
DICK
Don't be sorry. Do it right.
CUT TO:
INT. ASSASSINS ACADEMY AWARD CEREMONY NIGHT 80
The televsion coverage of the awards ceremony of the
International Academy of Assassins.
(CONTINUED)
47.
CONTINUED: 80
The ceremony takes place in a huge crumbling hall filled with
hundreds of extravagantly dressed killers.
A statuette of a man firing a rifle, the "Oswald", stands on the
podium beside the HOST and HOSTESS.
A beautiful couple like Robert DeNiro and Kathleen Turner stand
at the podium holding the envelope.
HOSTESS
And now the moment we've all been
waiting for. The Oswald for Best
Hitter of the Year.
HOST
Will this award be going to
someone you've slept with,
Kathleen?
HOSTESS
But, Bobby, don't you practice sex
to keep yourself safe?
HOST
Ahem.
She pinches him and they begin to read the list of nominees.
The nominees for Best Hitter are:
We see DICK and the other NOMINEES for the "Best Hitter" award
on camera.
The name of each mominee should appear beneath his face when his
name is read.
As they read the list the screen shows the faces of the nominees
followed by a clip of their biggest hit.
HOSTESS
The Choker, for his killing of the
Vice President.
Show a clip of the Vice President being choked to death.
HOST
Bazooka Bob, for annihilating the
Department of Motor Vehicles
Show a clip of the DMV building exploding.
Acid Annie,for hitting all five
Miss American finalists.
(CONTINUED)
48.
CONTINUED: (2) 80
Show a clip of the five finalists being splashed with acid.
And Dick, for his execution of the
entire Supreme Court.
Show a clip of DICK gunning down the NINE JUSTICES in their
robes.
HOSTESS
And the winner is...
She opens the envelope.
Dick!
DICK rises from his seat and the house erupts into wild
cheering.
DICK smiles and gracefully makes his way down the aisle.
DICK
Friends, distinguished guests,
members of the Academy, thank you
very, very much.
Thunderous applause.
DICK settles the crowd.
Fortunately, the people who made
this possible aren't able to be
with us this evening.
Laughter followed by the sound of sirens.
Well, I'm afraid I have to run,
Laughter.
...but let me leave you with this
one little piece of wisdom, if I
may: It doesn't take many
mistakes to become the victim of a
crime.
He indicates a small amount with his fingers for emphasis.
Just a little carelessness or a
little too much trust.
DICK smiles and exits as shots are fired at him.
CUT TO:
49.
EXT. A STREET CORNER NIGHT 81
A street corner in a rough neighborhood.
DICK and BENNY hide, poised to hit an unsuspecting PARKING
VIOLATIONS OFFICER as he leaves a ticket on a car.
DICK
You can't make errors. Do you
understand? One error could cost
you everything.
BENNY
I know. I know. I made a mistake
last time, but I won't this time.
DICK
Use the knife.
DICK puts on a surgical mask.
BENNY
Do we have to think about disease
at a time like this?
DICK
We always have to think about
disease.
BENNY puts on a mask and draws his knife
BENNY
I'm not afraid to take another
man's life. I'm not.
As the PARKING VIOLATIONS OFFICER places the ticket on the car
BENNY steps forward.
BENNY stabs the PV OFFICER in the back with the knife.
The PV OFFICER doesn't fall the first time and BENNY must stab
him repeatedly.
BENNY finally kills the PV OFFICER but really makes a mess of
himself.
DICK
Good. You did it.
BENNY kicks the body.
Give him the respect that's due a
dead man.
DICK gives BENNY his own business card.
(CONTINUED)
50.
CONTINUED: 81
DICK
For you.
BENNY
Thanks.
BENNY places the card in the PV OFFICER'S vest pocket.
DICK
Let's go for a drink.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S NEW PLACE DAY 82
Their new apartment has a nice view and much fancier furniture.
DICK and LOUISE are elegantly, but casually dressed.
They are both are being interviewed at home by a TV CREW with a
Barbara Walters type interviewer.
DICK
I am constantly bothered by crazy
people. They write to me, call
me on the phone and even harass me
in public.
INTERVIEWER
But what on earth do they want?
DICK
They think I can help them or they
want money for something or for
themselves. I hate them. I want
to be left alone. I have work to
do and I need time for myself. I
need to have a personal life. I
even want to have a family, but
god knows how I'm going to do it
in this business. I'd really like
to have a family life. You know,
with children. Little boys and
girls. Lots of boys and girls.
They would make me feel immortal.
CUT TO:
EXT. A DARK URBAN STREET NIGHT 83
DICK and BENNY on a stakeout in DICK'S car on a busy street.
(CONTINUED)
51.
CONTINUED: 83
BENNY eats candy and popcorn.
BENNY
I was a natural birth.
DICK
Oh, really. Did you know your
mother?
BENNY
Yes, I think I do. She thinks
that I'm her son, but some of the
records don't agree. I hope she's
my mother. If not her, then who
knows.
DICK
Are you nervous today?
BENNY
No, I'm not.
DICK
It's nice not to be nervous.
BENNY
It certainly is. My head feels
empty. Not clear, but vacant.
DICK
Take some vitamins.
DICK gives BENNY vitamin pills.
BENNY
Wanting to hurt people feels
normal now. I won't have any
problems now. I'm not foaming at
the mouth now, am I? I think it's
going to feel like serving them
breakfast.
DICK
Good.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S BEDROOM MORNING 84
LOUISE is getting dressed up to go to a job interview as DICK
lies in bed with a drink.
(CONTINUED)
52.
CONTINUED: 84
LOUISE
What about my life? What about my
career?
DICK
Yeah, right, your career. Oh,
sure. Your career.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S APARTMENT NIGHT 85
DICK comes home from work and finds a note that LOUISE has left
for him telling him that dinner is in the refrigerator.
He reads it, throws it down and goes to the fridge where he gets
a beer.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISES'S BEDROOM NIGHT 86
DICK is home in bed alone.
DICK watches TV changing channels randomly.
He turns on a game show and sees LOUISE displaying prizes.
The HOST is on the game set with TRACY the game show winner and
two losers.
At the opening of the first shot the losers are sent away.
HOST
So long Derek, so long Francine.
The losers go away to polite applause.
And now Tracy let's have a look at
what you've won. Keep your eye on
the delightful Louise and Don will
tell you about it, won't you Don.
DON (ANNOUNCER)
That's right Dave, Tracy has won a
complete bedroom set from the
Palace of Love.
There is music and cheering while the winner and studio audience
watch LOUISE bounce erotically on the prize bed reminiscent of
the way Madonna bounced on the bed in the "Like a Virgin" number
in the movie "Truth or Dare".
(CONTINUED)
53.
CONTINUED: 86
DICK watches from bed, gets disgusted and changes the channel.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BEACH A COLD DAY 87
A cold, windy day at a deserted beach.
DICK, LOUISE and BENNY take a stroll along the waterline.
BENNY and LOUISE walk together.
DICK walks briskly ahead of them.
LOUISE
You look tired, Benny.
BENNY
I haven't slept in three days.
LOUISE
Why?
BENNY
I can't calm down.
LOUISE
You should take a vacation.
BENNY
Oh no. Dick might need me. Let's
catch up.
BENNY runs to catch up with DICK.
DICK stands and waits for BENNY and then LOUISE to catch up with
him.
DICK
Race you to that rock and back.
Get goin'.
BENNY takes off.
DICK hands LOUISE his towel and he runs off after BENNY.
CUT TO:
EXT. A FIRESCAPE NIGHT 88
DICK and BENNY are climbing up the fire escape on their way to a
job.
(CONTINUED)
54.
CONTINUED: 88
They are dressed for work and carry weapons.
DICK
Yes, I know, this is very
exciting, but I don't let myself
get excited. I can't. It would
distract me. There's no value in
getting excited.
CUT TO:
INT. A DARK ROOM LIT BY ONLY ONE CANDLE NIGHT 89
DICK and BENNY sit on the floor in front of the candle.
It looks a bit like a seance or some kind of ritual initiation
ceremony.
DICK
There are infinitely many answers
to every question and most of them
are not false, but just different
shades of the truth. Some darker,
some lighter.
DICK cuts his own finger and then BENNY'S finger.
DICK presses his bleeding wound onto BENNY'S and they become
blood brothers.
CUT TO:
EXT. ON THE BANK OF A POND MORNING 90
DICK and BENNY skipping stones on a pond.
BENNY makes a stone skip five or six steps.
DICK
Hey, pretty good there.
DICK throws a stone that skips eight or nine steps.
DICK
I've got something for you.
BENNY looks apprehensive as DICK takes out a gun.
DICK hands BENNY the gun.
For all the good work you've done.
(CONTINUED)
55.
CONTINUED: 90
BENNY
Thanks.
BENNY looks and the gun and DICK gratefully.
They both throw one more stone and leave.
CUT TO:
INT. ANOTHER BAR NIGHT 91
This club has some kind of high tech decor.
BENNY is dressed very fashionably
BENNY picks up a girl.
BENNY
I'm a killer. I work with Dick.
The girl, ANGELA, smiles at him and moves closer to him.
ANGELA
Yeah. Didn't I see you on TV.
BENNY
Yeah. Probably.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE NIGHT 92
DICK and LOUISE at home.
They are engaged in household chores.
They were cleaning clothes and have buckets of water and mops
laying around.
LOUISE is mopping.
DICK is sorting their laundry.
He is separating her underwear from his socks and matching the
socks with their mates.
(CONTINUED)
56.
CONTINUED: 92
DICK
I'm a genius. But, no one says
it. They're all jealous of me.
They can't admit that I really am
this brilliant and this talented.
They can't bring themselves to
give me what I deserve.
LOUISE
Thinking like that won't do
anything for your career.
CUT TO:
INT. A WOMAN'S GYM DAY 93
The gym is full of ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE IN COLORFUL LEOTARDS.
A VIDEO CREW sets up for the taping of a physical fitness
workout video.
Various participants take positions.
LOUISE is the star of the video and is dusted with face powder.
The bright lights go on and the cameras begin to roll.
LOUISE leads the group in exercises.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE ENTRANCE TO A FANCY CLUB NIGHT 94
This club is more like the Plaza Hotel.
The doormen are uniformed and the other guests are dressed in
tuxedos and evening gowns.
DICK and LOUISE step from a limo into a crowd of fans and
photographers.
He wears a tuxedo and she wears an elegant evening dress.
They enter the club.
CUT TO:
INT. AN ELEGANT PARTY LATER THAT NIGHT 95
DICK and LOUISE are at an elegant party in evening dress.
(CONTINUED)
57.
CONTINUED: 95
They both hobnob with others of the rich and famous.
DICK watches jealously as LOUISE is surrounded by admirers.
He, on the other hand, is pestered by an old woman with blue
hair who won't shut up or leave him alone.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISES'S PLACE NIGHT 96
DICK and LOUISE at home undressing after the party.
LOUISE
I don't know who you're talking
about.
DICK
I'm talking about the guy with the
big mustache.
LOUISE
Dick, I never left the room.
DICK
Oh, no. I saw you.
LOUISE
Can we stop this, please.
CUT TO:
EXT. A BENCH ON A CITY STREET MORNING 97
A HOMELESS PERSON is covered with newspapers.
Pictures of DICK and LOUISE at the elegant party appear on the
society pages of that newspaper.
CUT TO:
EXT. A PLAYGROUND DAY 98
DICK and LOUISE sit on a bench in a city playground.
They are watching small children play with guns.
DICK smiles.
LOUISE is visibly unhappy.
(CONTINUED)
58.
CONTINUED: 98
LOUISE
Do you know what you want Dick?
DICK
Sure. And I've got it, too.
LOUISE
Do you? Really?
DICK
What do you mean?
LOUISE
You said you wanted a family.
DICK
Yeah. So? What's the problem?
LOUISE
Is this the life you want for
them?
DICK
What's wrong with it? Hey, this
is life. What am I supposed to do
about it?
CUT TO:
EXT. AN URBAN STREET NIGHT 99
DICK and LOUISE on a double date with BENNY and his new girl
friend ANGELA.
BENNY introduces ANGELA to DICK and LOUISE.
BENNY
Angela, this is Dick.
DICK
Hi, Angela.
ANGELA
Hi.
DICK shakes her hand and she gets excited.
BENNY
And this is Louise.
ANGELA
Pleased to meet you.
(CONTINUED)
59.
CONTINUED: 99
LOUISE
I always like to meet Benny's
friends.
ANGELA
Thanks.
ANGELA grabs hold of BENNY and BENNY winks to DICK.
They walk along the street together.
DICK walks alongside ANGELA and chats her up.
DICK shows off at a sharpshooting booth along the street.
DICK
Angela, come here. Watch this.
DICK does some stupid trick to amuse ANGELA.
He gets his hands on her and they flirt in front of LOUISE and
BENNY.
LOUISE
I hate him. Don't you?
BENNY
Yeah.
CUT TO:
INT. A GUN ROOM DAY 100
DICK and BENNY are handling several guns.
BENNY
...but, I still like this one.
The BENNY'S pistol goes off by accident.
A bullet grazes DICK on the cheek.
DICK tears the gun away from BENNY.
DICK removes all the ammunition from the gun.
He pistol whips BENNY while saying the following.
DICK
You idiot! You fucking idiot!
Don't you ever let that happen
again. I'll kill you. Do you
understand? I'll kill you.
(CONTINUED)
60.
CONTINUED: 100
BENNY shakes nervously and cries.
BENNY
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I won't. I won't. I won't.
CUT TO:
INT. LOUISE'S BATHROOM A BIT LATER THAT DAY 101
BENNY and LOUISE in her bathroom.
BENNY is bleeding from the wounds DICK just inflicted on him.
She helps treat his wounds.
LOUISE
He can be such an animal.
BENNY
It was good for me. What Dick did
was right. I can't make those
mistakes. I can't let that happen
again.
CUT TO:
INT. PHOTO STUDIO DAY 102
This is a big fashion photo studio
DICK is the focus of a session.
LOUISE and BENNY stand around.
The PHOTO CREW takes pictures and adjusts lights.
The phone rings.
LOUISE reaches for the receiver.
DICK
I'm not here.
LOUISE nods and picks it up.
LOUISE
Hello, Dick's studio...I'm afraid
Dick's out for the rest of the
afternoon...Yes..Yes... Just a
moment.
(CONTINUED)
61.
CONTINUED: 102
She looks at DICK.
DICK
No.
LOUISE
It's Alan.
DICK makes a face and takes the phone.
DICK
Can't this wait... No, not
today... Let somebody else take
it. Why not Benny?
BENNY nods eagerly.
DICK holds the phone away from his ear.
ALAN'S angry voice can be heard coming through the phone
although the words are unintelligible.
After a while DICK speaks into the receiver.
DICK
Alright. Alright. I'll take care
of it. No, FAX it. Goodbye.
DICK hangs up and addresses the PHOTO CREW.
Goodbye everyone. Goodbye.
The CREW exits.
LOUISE
He doesn't respect you.
DICK
I know. I know.
DICK gets ready to leave.
BENNY starts to get ready, too.
Solo.
BENNY
Dick?
BENNY whispers in DICK'S ear.
DICK
Again!
(CONTINUED)
62.
CONTINUED: (2) 102
BENNY
Just a few hundred. Just to get
me by.
DICK
I told you not to quit your day
job.
DICK gives BENNY some cash and looks at his watch.
DICK
I'm gone.
DICK picks up a fax of his order and hurriedly leaves the
studio to do the job.
LOUISE and BENNY are left alone.
LOUISE
You want something to eat?
BENNY
Sure.
CUT TO:
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING DAY 103
DICK hurriedly drives into the parking lot of the building.
He parks the car and proceeds to the roof.
CUT TO:
INT. SPACIOUS FANCY GOVERNMENT OFFICE DAY 104
We see a CABINET SECRETARY in his office.
DICK crashes in through the window on a rope.
He falls over the furniture.
DICK struggles to get up.
The SECRETARY runs out the door.
DICK pursues him through the busy crowded office.
SECRETARIES, GUARDS and other GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS scream and
throw things at DICK as he chases the victim.
The chase continues down stairs,
(CONTINUED)
63.
CONTINUED: 104
The chase goes through a kitchen.
The chase goes out the back door of the building.
CUT TO:
EXT. A CITY STREET DAY 105
The chase goes outside into the street.
The SECRETARY goes down into a subway station.
DICK follows behind him taking shots as he runs.
CUT TO:
INT. SUBWAY TRACKS DAY 106
The SECRETARY runs until he comes out of a tunnel into the
daylight.
CUT TO:
EXT. SUBWAY TRACKS DAY 107
The SECRETARY believes he has eluded DICK and slows down.
He turns around and crosses over onto the opposite track to look
for DICK.
The SECRETARY is run down by a train coming in the opposite
direction.
DICK arrives at the scene gasping for breath.
He looks at the messy corpse and picks up the SECRETARY'S
wallet.
He checks the identification cards and sees that he's made a
mistake.
DICK
Shit.
ALAN'S limo drives up and a chauffeur lets ALAN out.
He walks over to DICK, glances at the corpse and takes the ID
card.
ALAN grimaces.
(CONTINUED)
64.
CONTINUED: 107
ALAN
This is going to cost us a lot of
money.
DICK
I know.
ALAN
And that's not all.
DICK
I know.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEWSSTAND MORNING 108
The two big headlines are "OOPS!" and "DICK SLIPS"
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE NIGHT 109
DICK at home with LOUISE.
LOUISE looks at the headlines and hides the papers.
She approaches DICK and pretends to be cleaning.
LOUISE
How'd it go?
DICK
I made a mistake.
LOUISE
A big one?
DICK
Very big.
LOUISE
Everybody makes mistakes.
DICK
I got the wrong man.
LOUISE
Oh. Then you'll just get the
right one.
(CONTINUED)
65.
CONTINUED: 109
DICK
But, I can't bring a dead man
back.
LOUISE
Oh... No.
DICK
He wasn't that important. They
always make a lot of fuss. You
know how they can be.
LOUISE
It'll blow over.
DICK
I know it will.
LOUISE
You're the best they've got.
DICK
Thanks.
LOUISE
Do you ever feel sympathy for your
victims?
DICK
No. Why should I feel that?
LOUISE
I don't know. I was just asking,
that's all.
DICK
That would be counterproductive,
wouldn't it.
LOUISE
Yes, I suppose it would.
DICK
You know, it's funny how I've
changed. I used to care for
animals. Now I don't even keep a
plant.
LOUISE
Everyone should have a plant.
CUT TO:
66.
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 110
DICK is ALAN'S office picking up his next assignment.
DICK looks at the money.
ALAN smirks.
DICK
You take me seriously or I'll go
over your head and I'll have you
crushed.
ALAN
You shouldn't speak like that.
DICK doesn't answer.
Don't you think it's unwise of you
to irritate me?
DICK
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
ALAN
Alright. I won't mention it
again.
DICK
Thank you.
ALAN
Alright. Well then.
DICK
Yes?
ALAN
Is there anything else?
DICK
I think I've said everything I had
to say.
ALAN
Good. I think I have, too.
DICK
Well then, I'll be going.
ALAN
Yes. Be well.
DICK
Bye then.
(CONTINUED)
67.
CONTINUED: 110
ALAN
Bye.
DICK nearly exits.
DICK
I... No, nothing.
DICK exits.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S BEDROOM NIGHT 111
DICK and LOUISE in bed.
DICK is restless.
LOUISE wakes up.
LOUISE
What's the matter, sweetheart?
DICK gets up and gets dressed.
LOUISE
Dick...
DICK exits.
LOUISE takes a pill.
CUT TO:
INT. AN OLD NIGHTCLUB NIGHT 112
They go back to the club with the bomb shelter decor.
DICK and BENNY at the bar.
BENNY is eyeing a WOMAN down the bar a ways.
DICK
I don't know. I was never
interested in anything else. And
I was always fired from other
jobs.
DICK notices the WOMAN that BENNY has been eyeing.
(CONTINUED)
68.
CONTINUED: 112
DICK
Excuse me, I have to have that
woman.
BENNY
But, what about Louise?
DICK
What about her?
DICK exits with the WOMAN.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE DAY 113
DICK returns home at dawn.
LOUISE is waiting up for him angrily.
LOUISE
Where have you been?
DICK
None of your business.
DICK goes to the bathroom and locks the door behind him.
He takes a shower.
LOUISE stands outside the door and pouts.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE NIGHT 114
DICK and LOUISE at home.
DICK is building a giant something out of tinker toys.
LOUISE comes over and stands right next to him.
LOUISE
I'm very angry with you.
DICK
Yeah? So what. Can't you see I'm
busy. Leave me alone.
CUT TO:
69.
INT. BENNY'S PLACE DAY 115
BENNY and LOUISE are alone.
They sit at his table with glasses of beer.
BENNY
I'm still trying to get over
feeling worthless and stupid.
LOUISE
I think you're very sweet.
BENNY
Yeah?
LOUISE touches BENNY affectionately.
She gives him some pills.
LOUISE
Here, Benny, these will make you
feel more relaxed. Take at least
four.
BENNY
How many do you take?
LOUISE
Just five or six. That's not
many. I know a girl who took
twenty a day.
BENNY
Is she still alive?
LOUISE
Well, how should I know?
LOUISE puts her arms around BENNY.
He looks at her tatoos.
LOUISE
Benny, everybody has germs and
viruses. Stop worryin' about
germs, okay.
BENNY takes the pills and smiles.
LOUISE leads him to bed.
She begins undressing him.
(CONTINUED)
70.
CONTINUED: 115
BENNY looks a bit frightened but submissive.
CUT TO:
INT. BENNY'S PLACE A LITTLE BIT LATER 116
BENNY puts his trousers back on.
He seems happy, but a bit nervous, a bit distracted.
LOUISE looks disappointed.
She gets up and puts her clothes back on.
BENNY
You want anything to eat?
LOUISE
No, I better get going. Thanks
anyway.
BENNY
Okay.
CUT TO:
EXT. A DARK CITY STREET NIGHT 117
DICK and BENNY walking down the street.
They're coming back from a workout.
They walk under a street lamp.
BENNY
There I was, doing all the things
the devil would want me to do.
DICK
Was it nice?
BENNY
Yes, it was.
Shots are fired and BENNY is wounded in the arm.
DICK returns fire.
DICK drags BENNY to cover where he bandages the wound.
BENNY is losing blood rapidly and looking weak.
(CONTINUED)
71.
CONTINUED: 117
BENNY
Well, I suppose I'm getting just
what I deserve.
DICK
Justice is not cruel. I think
someone evil is behind it.
BENNY
Yes, so do I. Whom do you
suspect?
DICK
A few people. A variety of people
with a variety of motives. There
could be many people who mean you
harm, and there are many who
strike randomly at harmless
victims.
BENNY
Should I be more watchful?
BENNY'S vision begins to blur and he hears things as though
their being spoken in an echo chamber
During DICK'S next speech BENNY hallucinates and sees DICK as
though he's JESUS and then the DEVIL and then JESUS again.
DICK
Yes. Especially of those you
suspect. Be watchful of your
superiors and your staff, your
lovers, your spouse, your children
and all the people you come in
contact with, especially service
employees like deliverymen and
doormen. Be watchful of your
comings and goings and of the
rooms in which you stay. Be
watchful of your mail and of your
phone calls and of your written
and spoken words. Be watchful of
your thoughts. And the thoughts
of others.
BENNY passes out.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE LATER THAT NIGHT 118
DICK and LOUISE in their bedroom.
(CONTINUED)
72.
CONTINUED: 118
BENNY is asleep on their bed recovering from his wounds.
They both stand over him.
LOUISE
Why do you lead him on like that?
Why do you make him believe that
he's got a chance when you know
he's hopeless?
DICK
Well, maybe he will succeed. Who
knows?
LOUISE
He's a loser and you know it.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE THE NEXT DAY 119
BENNY is bandaged up and eating.
DICK and BENNY are watching cartoons on TV.
DICK
Most of what's on TV is stupid.
Most of what's in print is stupid.
Most of what people say is stupid.
Everything is stupid. You're
stupid.
BENNY
I'm sorry.
DICK
It's alright.
BENNY
If you can't forgive stupidity,
what can you forgive.
DICK
I said, it's alright.
BENNY
I know. I know.
(CONTINUED)
73.
CONTINUED: 119
DICK
It just burns me up every time I
come face to face with the
stupidity that surrounds us. I
wonder, sometimes, how long I'll
be able to stand it.
BENNY
I know.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 120
ALAN stands behind his desk.
DICK sits in the chair in front of the desk.
DICK looks at a folder.
It contains a picture of BENNY.
DICK hands back the folder.
DICK
Sorry, this is an old friend of
mine.
ALAN
So?
DICK
Couldn't I have something else?
ALAN
I don't have anything else?
ALAN takes the folder back.
DICK almost reaches for the folder but draws his hand back.
ALAN turns away.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN URBAN RIVER DAY 121
DICK alone sitting on a polluted urban river bank.
A fishing line is in the water.
(CONTINUED)
74.
CONTINUED: 121
He is daydreaming blissfully.
CUT TO:
EXT. FOREST STREAM DAY 122
DICK'S dream.
He is fishing from a pristine stream in the forest.
We hear DICK in a voice over.
DICK (V.O.)
I want to be happy for a long
time. At least a few months.
Maybe a whole year. I want some
peace in my life. And maybe some
excitement.
DICK hooks a large fish and gingerly reels it in.
He takes the fish off his hook and smiles at it.
He places the fish on a stringer in the water beside him.
The stringer is almost full.
CUT TO:
EXT. URBAN RIVER DAY 123
A nearby artillery barrage in the real world rouses DICK from
his dream.
He is forced to run away and hide.
More artillery shells can be heard coming in and exploding.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE NIGHT 124
DICK is watching TV.
LOUISE storms in angrily.
LOUISE
Dick...
(CONTINUED)
75.
CONTINUED: 124
DICK
Don't speak to me in that tone of
voice. It irritates me.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK AND LOUISE'S PLACE ANOTHER NIGHT 125
DICK and LOUISE at home.
DICK is watching TV while LOUISE exercises.
DICK drops ashes from his cigar onto the couch.
LOUISE
Please...
DICK
No. I won't give up any of my bad
habits.
He sprinkles more ashes around.
He puts his cigar out on the couch.
LOUISE screams.
CUT TO:
EXT. DICK'S WINDOW DAY 126
DICK is standing out on the window ledge holding LOUISE'S
favorite vase.
She reaches for it.
He toys with her, pulling it away at the last minute.
DICK throws the vase to the street below.
LOUISE makes one last desperate lunge for it.
DICK laughs when he sees it hit the sidewalk and break.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S AND LOUISE'S PLACE NIGHT 127
DICK and LOUISE at home having a verbal fight.
(CONTINUED)
76.
CONTINUED: 127
LOUISE
You selfish bastard.
DICK
Shut up, bitch.
LOUISE throws something at DICK.
He throws something back.
The fight escalates to knife throwing and gun shooting.
DICK eventually grabs her and is close to killing her.
He looks into her eyes and realizes what he's doing.
He lets her go.
She quietly and quickly gets her things and leaves.
DICK watches TV
DICK
Goodbye.
CUT TO:
INT. A BEAUTY PARLOR DAY 128
The patrons read magazines while there under the hair dryers.
LOUISE appears on the cover of several magazines:
DIRT "Louise: My life with Dick was a living hell
SLIME Dick's Ex Says -"I've Had Better"
TRASH "Dick's Secret Fetishes - Louise Reveals the Truth about
Dick"
CUT TO:
INT. TV TALK SHOW STUDIO DAY 129
The talk show resembles OPRAH with a live studio audience and a
panel of guests.
The HOSTESS is a loud outspoken woman.
(CONTINUED)
77.
CONTINUED: 129
LOUISE goes on a talk show with some of DICK'S other ex-
girlfriends; DEBBIE and ANDREA who holds a baby in her arms.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE DAY 130
DICK is watching on TV at home as LOUISE appears on the talk
show.
HOSTESS (O.S.)
Today we have Dick's X's, Dick's
ex-girlfriends. Among the angry
X's here today are Debbie, Dick's
childhood sweetheart, Andrea, the
mother of his alleged ten month
old daughter, and Louise, the
women who supported him through
his rise to super stardom only to
be cheated on and abused when he
made it to the top.
DICK
Great. I love this.
HOSTESS
Let's start with Debbie.
DICK
Sure, I did, and a hundred other
guys.
HOSTESS
Debbie, what are the first words
that come to mind when I say the
name "Dick".
DEBBIE
Revolting...Cruel...Selfish....and
Monster... are a few.
DICK
Right. Right. Now everyone wants
to hear that I'm a monster. Get a
job, bitch.
HOSTESS
Andrea?
ANDREA
Liar, for one. Then snake weasel
and worm.
(CONTINUED)
78.
CONTINUED: 130
DICK
What lies? I never made promises.
Talk to my lawyer.
HOSTESS
Louise?
LOUISE
Violent, degenerate, psychopath.
DICK
Give me my money back,whore.
LOUISE
And Dick's really not that good in
bed.
All three X's nod their heads in agreement.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 131
DICK forces his way past ALAN'S SECRETARY and into his private
office.
Several other ASSASSINS are there.
They appear rather embarassed to see DICK be humiliated.
ALAN
I don't have anything for you.
DICK
But, Al...
ALAN
No. Nothing. Now get out. I
have work to do.
DICK notices the other ASSASSINS.
They bury their heads in newspapers and magazines.
He tries to maintain his composure.
ALAN turns away from him and does not conceal his disgust.
DICK exits.
CUT TO:
79.
INT. STEAM BATH DAY 132
ALAN and BENNY sitting in the steam.
They are both wrapped in towels.
ALAN
He is one of the most hideous
people I have ever known.
CUT TO:
INT. FIRING RANGE NIGHT 133
DICK and BENNY take target practice.
DICK is blowing off steam.
BENNY is a bit uncomfortable.
DICK
You know, I sat in the library
looking at all those books and I
thought, why does there have to be
all this crap? Why don't we just
burn it all and think for
ourselves? Why don't we start
from scratch and think for a
change?
BENNY
But, Dick...
DICK grabs BENNY and squeezes him.
BENNY
Yeah, I'll burn it. Okay. Let's
burn it tonight.
DICK
Yeah.
CUT TO:
INT. PUBLIC LIBRARY NIGHT 134
DICK and BENNY set fire to stacks of books.
We see many books burst into flame and crumble to ash.
CUT TO:
80.
EXT. PUBLIC LIBRARY NIGHT 135
DICK and BENNY watch the fire from across the street.
A CROWD gathers.
Sirens are heard.
Fire trucks arrive.
DICK takes out his cellular phone and calls ALAN'S office.
He gets one of the ASSISTANTS.
DICK
Let me talk to the boss...This is
Dick...Tell him to call me
immediately.
DICK hangs up.
I'll kill him. He knows I'll kill
him if he dicks with me. Learn
how to talk tough. No. Learn how
to be tough and then don't talk at
all. Just break bones. I hate
talk.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE MORNING 136
The balcony of ALAN'S office.
ALAN and BENNY look out over the city and drink coffee.
BENNY
We've had some troubles.
ALAN
I know you have.
BENNY
It wasn't all my fault.
ALAN
I know.
BENNY
But it wasn't all his fault.
Things got difficult.
ALAN
Yes.
(CONTINUED)
81.
CONTINUED: 136
BENNY
I couldn't do anything about it.
ALAN
Of course not.
BENNY
But it just got worse and worse.
ALAN
I know. Why don't you take him?
BENNY
Uhn...
ALAN
Sleep on it.
BENNY
It seems as though he knows what
we're thinking.
ALAN speaks the next sentence loudly to the hidden microphones.
ALAN
Of course he knows. He knows
everything we say and do and
think. And we know that about
him. Intent to murder doesn't
need to be kept secret.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S PLACE MORNING 137
DICK at home listening to the dialogue from the preceding scene
on a tape recorder.
ALAN (ON TAPE)
Of course he knows.
DICK rewinds the tape.
ALAN
Of course he knows.
DICK rewinds the tape again.
ALAN
Of course he knows.
CUT BACK TO
82.
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE CONTINUING FROM BEFORE 138
ALAN
Kill him any way you like.
ALAN gives BENNY some cash.
CUT TO:
EXT. VACANT LOT DAY 139
DICK and BENNY remove their weapons and walk toward each other
as though to fight.
DICK jumps iup and wraps his legs around BENNY'S waist.
DICK does sit-ups from that position.
Later BENNY does sit-ups while DICK holds his legs in a similar
fashion.
BENNY
Do you believe in the devil?
DICK
Of course not. Do you?
BENNY
No. But, I wonder if maybe I am
the devil.
DICK
You're not.
BENNY
Are you sure?
DICK
You're a pushover.
BENNY
Right.
DICK
No. I think the devil would be
tougher than you are. And
smarter, too.
BENNY
Yeah. But maybe I work for the
devil.
DICK
I don't think you've done a lot
for him lately, do you?
(CONTINUED)
83.
CONTINUED: 139
BENNY
No.
DICK
If you did, you've been laid off.
BENNY
Yeah...
BENNY looks thoughtful, contemplative.
I gave to the blind today. Enough
to buy a blind child a cane.
DICK
That's nice.
BENNY
It made me feel good.
DICK
Good.
BENNY
Charity is a great virtue.
DICK
Indeed it is.
BENNY
I think my father must have been a
charitable man. I believe he was
a good man. He must have been so
good that he had to be killed.
DICK
Don't think about that.
BENNY
Why?
DICK
Emotion will confuse you. Justice
is not passionate.
BENNY
Right.
DICK
We are the cold, steel swords of
justice.
(CONTINUED)
84.
CONTINUED: (2) 139
BENNY
Yes. Oh, please, yes.
CUT TO:
EXT. DARK STREET NIGHT 140
DICK follows an OLD MAN down the street.
He catches up to him.
DICk murders the OLD MAN with a knife.
With some difficulty DICK carries the corpse to an alley.
He removes the victim's wallet.
DICK takes the cash and throws the wallet away.
He counts the cash, counts it and puts it in his pocket.
He takes out one of his cards.
He thinks for a moment and puts it back in his wallet.
DICK looks around to see if anyone is watching.
He runs away.
CUT TO:
INT. BENNY'S PLACE DAY 141
BENNY on the phone to ALAN.
BENNY
...soon. Probably just a few
days.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 142
ALAN and BENNY are talking seriously about BENNY'S assignment.
ALAN stands behind his desk.
BENNY sits sheepishly.
ALAN
What are you waiting for?
(CONTINUED)
85.
CONTINUED: 142
BENNY
Oh, uhh...The right time, I guess.
ALAN
Do it now. No more money until
he's dead.
CUT TO:
INT. DICK'S OLD PLACE DAY 143
DICK has been forced to move back to his old South Bronx
apartment.
DICK is watching TV.
BENNY is pacing and fidgeting.
DICK tells BENNY about a phone call that came while he was out.
DICK
The caller didn't give his name.
BENNY
What did he want?
DICK
He wanted to speak to you. That's
all he said.
BENNY
Did he leave a number?
DICK
No, but he said he'd call back.
BENNY
When?
DICK
Later. That's all he said.
BENNY
I see.
DICK
Do you know who it is?
BENNY
No.
DICK
I see.
(CONTINUED)
86.
CONTINUED: 143
BENNY
You see what?
DICK
Nothing. Nothing at all.
BENNY
I don't know what it's about.
DICK
Are you worried?
BENNY
Of course not. People are trying
to reach me all the time.
DICK
Strangers?
BENNY
Yes. They're referred to me.
DICK
Referrals.
BENNY
Yes.
CUT TO:
EXT. DESERTED STREET NIGHT 144
It's late a night on a deserted street in the meat packing
district.
LOUISE is walking briskly and nervously.
DICK steps out from a dark doorway.
DICK sneaks up from behind and grabs her.
DICK
I'm afraid of the thoughts I have.
I'm afraid I'm going to grab you
by the collar and smash your head
against the wall. Smash it over
and over again. I can't stop
these thoughts. I want to jump up
and down on your head.
LOUISE
Dick, don't talk like that.
(CONTINUED)
87.
CONTINUED: 144
DICK
Imagine this is your face.
DICK holds up his hand.
This is what I'd like to do.
He hits his opened palm with his fist.
He lets her go and laughs.
CUT TO:
EXT. UNDER A HIGHWAY OVERPASS NIGHT 145
BENNY has found DICK sleeping under the highway.
DICK wakes up and looks at BENNY.
BENNY points his gun at DICK.
DICK
Go ahead. Do it. What's wrong
with you? Get out of the
business. You'll never make it.
Get out. Go home.
DICK rolls over and goes back to sleep.
CUT TO:
EXT. AN EMPTY HIGHWAY DAWN 146
BENNY walks aimlessly along the highway.
He doesn't know what to do next.
CUT TO:
EXT. A BRIDGE LATER THAT MORNING 147
BENNY is sitting on the railing of a bridge.
DICK surprises BENNY and puts a gun to his head.
BENNY trembles and prays.
BENNY
No, Dick. Please. Don't kill me.
Please, don't.
(CONTINUED)
88.
CONTINUED: 147
DICK pulls the trigger but the chamber is empty.
BENNY jumps in startled amazement.
He nearly falls off the bridge.
BENNY hangs desperately from the railing with his feet dangling
is space.
DICK laughs and walks away.
BENNY struggles to get back onto the bridge.
CUT TO:
EXT. CROWDED STREET NIGHT 148
A group of police cars are stopped in front of an alley.
POLICE sirens blare and red lights flash.
DICK is hiding behind a dumpster in the back of the alley.
DICK is giggling hysterically and out of bullets.
A number of POLICEMEN in riot gear surround DICK.
The POLICE charge in and all point their guns at him.
DICK giggles and raises his hands.
POLICEMAN
Up against it, Dick.
The POLICE make DICK stand against a wall and frisk him.
They handcuff DICK and push him into a patrol car.
DICK still can't stop giggling.
PHOTOGRAPHERS take pictures.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEWSSTAND MORNING 149
The big headlines are "GOT HIM!" and "DICK BROUGHT TO JUSTICE"
CUT TO:
89.
INT. TV FOOTAGE NIGHT 150
Show news footage of DICK being booked and put in a jail cell.
CUT TO:
INT. THE DOOR TO A COURTROOM DAY 151
DICK is led into the courtroom in chains by a group of heavily
armed POLICE OFFICERS
BENNY hangs out aroud the door of the courtroom in which DICK
is being tried.
A REPORTER approaches BENNY.
REPORTER
I know you.You work with Dick!
BENNY
No. No. You've confused me with
someone else.
REPORTER
No I haven't. You're Benny, his
right hand man.
BENNY
No. I'm not.
REPORTER
You are.
BENNY
Dammit. I said I'm not, do you
hear me. I don't know Dick and I
don't have anything to do with
him.
The REPORTER takes some pictures of BENNY.
BENNY hides his face.
CUT TO:
INT. A COURTROOM DAY 152
We see scenes from the trial narrated by a television news
reporter.
TV REPORTER
The well known assassin, Dick,
went on trial today.
(CONTINUED)
90.
CONTINUED: 152
Show DICK on the stand taking the oath.
The defendant took the stand and
showed no remorse whatsoever for
his heinous crimes.
Show DICK in the witness box.
DICK
Yeah, so what. I'd do it all
again. All of it. You scum, you
filthy stinking scum. If I just
had a gun...
Cut back to the TV REPORTER.
TV REPORTER
The jury wasted no time reaching
their decision.
Cut to a shot of the JURY handing down the guilty verdict.
Dick was found guilty of all
counts.
Cut to DICK glaring back at the JUDGE and PROSECUTOR
He was sentenced to death and will
be fried like the chicken that he
is in the electric chair at dawn
tomorrow.
Cut to a final shot of the unrepentent DICK.
CUT TO:
INT. JAIL CELL NIGHT 153
A tiny white washed cell.
The moon can be seen through the one barred window.
DICK is surrounded by empty boxes of Chinese food, his last
meal.
DICK
I opened my fortune cookie and my
fortune was blank.
He looks out the window at the moon and stars.
CUT TO:
91.
INT. PRISON NIGHT 154
The alarm bell rings.
GUARDS rush down the corridor.
They find DICK'S cell empty.
LOUDSPEAKER
Attention all guards, Dick's
loose. Repeat, Dick's on the
loose!
CUT TO:
INT. THE WALL OF A TOILET STALL DAY 155
Graffitti appears on the wall: "SEE DICK RUN!"
CUT TO:
EXT. DARK STREETS NIGHT 156
Late at night in the meat packing district.
DICK wanders the streets in search of LOUISE.
He's hysterical and screams at the top of his lungs.
DICK
Louise... Louise...
CUT TO:
INT. A SUBWAY CAR DAY 157
Graffitti appears on the wall of the car: RUN, DICK,RUN!
CUT TO:
INT. PHOTO STUDIO DAY 158
LOUISE does a fashion photo spread for a magazine.
We see her at the shoot posing for the PHOTOGRAPHERS.
CUT TO:
92.
INT. A CROWDED BOOKSTORE DAY 159
LOUISE has come out with a book about DICK called "UP AGAINST
DICK: Louise Tells All" with pictures of LOUISE and DICK on the
cover.
LOUISE signs copies of her book for a crowd of admirers in a
bookstore.
DICK watches from a window.
CUT TO:
INT. A NICE COUNTRY HOUSE NIGHT 160
LOUISE'S new boyfriends house.
The NEW BOYFRIEND is wearing a nice robe and bringing her a
glass of white wine.
He is apparently a lawyer or a publisher of some kind.
He is balding, wears glasses and plays classical music on the
stereo.
LOUISE sits in bed reading a magazine.
DICK breaks in through the window.
BOYFRIEND
Now see here!
DICK clubs the BOYFRIEND with a baseball bat.
He walks over to the terrified LOUISE and takes her in his arms.
LOUISE
What do you want?
DICK
I want a woman to love forever.
DICK looks at her for a long moment first sweetly and then he
becomes very, very angry.
LOUISE
Dick... Dick...
She sees his expression change and tries to scream.
DICK breaks her neck.
He lays her body down on the bed and leaves the way he came.
CUT TO:
93.
EXT. A CITY PARK DAY 161
A park is filled with bums.
DICK searchs for food in a garbage can.
He finds a turkey sandwich and begins eating it.
JANE, a nicely dressed young woman is feeding pigeons in front
of him.
DICK
I need to change women about every
three months. It's no trouble for
me. I've got a big one.
DICK exposes himself to JANE.
She screams and runs away.
He shoots at her but his gun is empty.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE PARK DAY 162
Someone has written the following bits of graffitti on a wall in
the park: JANE SEES DICK and RUN,JANE,RUN!
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET DAY 163
It is very hot and DICK is lying on the street.
He has been poisoned by the turkey sandwich.
DICK
Oh, boy, do I feel sick.
DICK begin the throw up.
Dear God, take me. Take me now.
Let me die. Oh, please. Please.
Please. Oh...Please, God, no...
He wrenches in agony.
(CONTINUED)
94.
CONTINUED: 163
No. Why did I do those terrible
things? Why did I waste my life
doing those horrible, horrible
things? Why? Oh, no. Oh, no.
Please, take me now, please.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE GUTTER OF AN URBAN STREET DAY 164
A few hours later.
The sun is very hot.
DICK is near death.
DICK
I'm feeling a kind of dullness
now. I wonder if I have lived a
good life. I wonder what will
happen to my soul?
DICK dies.
Birds and insects arrive to feed on his corpse.
Some of them devour what's left of the turkey sandwich.
Maggots crawl all over DICK'S body and into his ears and mouth.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET DAY 165
The view from the afterlife.
DICK'S soul separates from his body.
His spirit looks down upon his dead body.
Suddenly, he begins to rise very rapidly.
CUT TO:
EXT. HEAVEN DAY 166
DICK takes off into space leaving the earth far behind.
Next DICK sees that he is going through a large tunnel with a
bright light at the end of it.
(CONTINUED)
95.
CONTINUED: 166
He walks straight into the light.
Other people of all ages are walking along beside him.
Some come in groups and carry luggage.
CUT TO:
INT. THE HEAVENLY WAITING ROOM DAY 167
DICK appears dressed in nice new white clothes.
He sits a waiting room filled with the souls of others who are
recently deceased.
The waiting room is like the waiting area of an airport terminal
with many people arriving and departing.
Arrivals are announced from Cleveland and Bombay.
DICK reads newspapers and magazines from the earth that are
spread out on a table in front of him.
Newspaper headline: "Attack of the Killer Bimbos"
DICK
Killer Bimbos, right.
Magazine: "CRIME: DEBBY DEADLY: The Dangerous Debutante"
DICK
Debby Deadly. Sure.
Magazine: "VIOLENCE: Psycho Patti = the shock treatment
DICK
Oh, yeah, Psycho Patti.
Newspaper headline: "Teen Terror Gangs Bomb & Burn"
DICK
Teenagers.
Newpaper headline: "Cannibal Kids Devour Victims"
DICK
What?
Magazine: "BRUTALITY: Freddy the Flesh-Eater: Dines on Parents"
DICK
Freddy the Flesheater! Ah,
Gore...
(CONTINUED)
96.
CONTINUED: 167
Magazine: "GORE: Kenny and the Kannibals Roast Teacher Alive Eat
Him for Breakfast"
DICK
Kenny and the Kannibals! Whoa!
That's too much. I wonder...No.
No. I was just following orders.
A HARE KRISHNA walks through.
DICK whispers a question in his ear.
HARE KRISHNA
What? Who? Jesus Christ? Sure,
I know Jesus Christ. Come, follow
me, we'll meet him.
CUT TO:
EXT. A RIVERBANK DAY 168
JESUS and his APOSTLES unload their fishing boat at the heavenly
riverbank.
This spot oddly resembles the place where DICK used to fish on
earth.
DICK steps up to JESUS who directs the APOSTLES.
JESUS turns to DICK.
JESUS
Yes, it's all true. Here are the
holes in my palms and my side.
DICK
Are you coming back?
JESUS
I've been back for a long time.
There's not that much that I can
do.
DICK talks to himself.
DICK
I just didn't expect him to be so
dull.
DICK turns back to JESUS.
That Jesus?
(CONTINUED)
97.
CONTINUED: 168
JESUS
Yes, that Jesus.
DICK exits.
JESUS speaks directly to the camera.
While JESUS speaks he pours water from a bottle into a glass
where it turns to wine.
JESUS
I think people, in general,
believe that they can be their own
saviors. Or, that they'd prefer
to be beyond redemption. Suit
yourself, I say. I believe in
myself and my work. I don't need
unamimous approval.
JESUS drinks the glass of wine.
DICK wanders off into a cloud bank and gets lost in the heavenly
mist.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE GUTTER WHERE DICK DIED DAY 169
BENNY finds DICK'S corpse lying in the gutter.
BENNY
Dick? Dick?
BENNY looks at DICK.
He tries to wake DICK up and realizes that he's dead.
He is shocked and then appalled by the filthy, stinking,
diseased corpse.
CUT TO:
EXT. WATERFRONT DAY 170
BENNY stands at the edge of the pier holding an urn containing
DICK'S ashes.
BENNY pours the ashes into the water.
(CONTINUED)
98.
CONTINUED: 170
BENNY
So long, Dick.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S OFFICE DAY 171
BENNY reports to ALAN.
ALAN smiles and smokes a cigar.
BENNY
It was bad poultry. A turkey
sandwich killed him.
ALAN
Poultry. Very good. Was that
your idea?
BENNY
No. I don't know who did it.
ALAN
Interesting. Maybe it was just
the meat.
BENNY
That would be funny, wouldn't it.
ALAN
Yes, it would. Bad poultry.
ALAN laughs.
CUT TO:
INT. ALAN'S COMPUTER SCREEN DAY 172
The "DICK" icon is pulled from the "ASSASSIN" drive and dumped
in the trash bucket.
CUT TO:
EXT. A CITY STREET DAY 173
A newspaper lies open on the ground.
It's turned to the obituary page.
The headline "Dick Dies" appears with a three inch obituary.
(CONTINUED)
99.
CONTINUED: 173
The obituary reads as follows:
"The professional killer known to
the public as "Dick" was found
dead on the street yesterday. The
apparent cause of death was food
poisoning from an unidentified
source. Foul play is not
suspected. Dick was believed to
be in his early thirties. There
are no immediate survivors."
The pages of the newspaper blow away to reveal headlines such
as: MORE WAR, FAMINE, PESTILENCE, DESTRUCTION, CONTAMINATION,
MILLIONS DEAD, ETC.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET DAY 174
The newspaper blows away down the street.
The camera pans the urban skyline.
Loud offensive music plays on the radio.
RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT:
VOICE OVER
Remember Dick, anybody? He's
dead!
The music continues.
THE END